I have been the happiest I've ever been in the past year. Let me tell you why...
I recently discovered, through the wonderful criticism of my friends, how I do what I do. It's true that everything I do, I give my best. It looks natural because I've already fucked it up every way that it could be fucked up.
I think what help set the mind-frame I have now was in fact joining the military at seventeen. This is a true test of survival of the fittest.
I didn't die in the past eight years, so now I think, at least in my own mind, that I have the right to the American way until I die. This frame of mind makes me very thankful for all the little things I do have. I have inner peace and forgive me if this sounds familiar, but my Chi is fucking centered. I'm not getting religious on you. In fact, Nature is my crack. It's my crystal meth. If you ever have held anything in, you know it eats you from the inside out. That is why I've been the happiest I've ever been in the past year, because i don't have anything personal to hide. If you haven't read my book, write your own. It is the way I got my conscience clear and my Chi centered.
When you have no secrets, you don't have a heavy mind. It takes a lot of balls to admit to the things one has done in life. I admitted to everyone and published it as my autobiography. I wrote it in combat and it was originally meant as my eulogy. But, I wanted to be free and lose what ever friends wanted to lose me.
The friends I have now are the result of learning from my past. True happiness is what I can offer. Let a friend know what you're ashamed of living with, and pass on that burden until it either gets fixed or you can stop thinking about it constantly. I am always free to listen.